My Brother's Wedding- The preparations

Well the highlight of my India trip was my brother’s wedding. The preparations had started long back. When I went, the invitations had already started. Initially even I was a part of it, but then I moved out because of my hectic schedule of god knows what. But was damn busy throughout my stay. Mom and dad were very tired at the end of every day of invitations and especially by the amount of mithais u have to eat in each house. And this is one thing about marriage, which you can’t outsource. Rest everything you can.

Anyway another thing that bothered us till the last day was prawns in the menu. For those who don’t have any idea what this is, let’s say serving tiger prawn in marriages have become real rare coz of the whopping rate of Rs 500/kg. Here is more about how important food is in Bengali marriages. Guess you all know who Bankim Chandra Chattopaddhay is. May be you people also know his famous novel Devi Chowdhurani. It was far ahead of times. Imagine somebody discussing women dacoits in 18^th century. Well now do any of you who have read Devi Chowdhurani remember why she became a dacoit? Well it was because they were poor and so though they managed to feed the groom side guests properly, the neighbors were given just rice and curd. This angered the neighbors, who complained to the father-in-law, who angrily broke the marriage or something like that nd feeling sad devi becomes a dacoit when lost in jungle. The point is, shaadi ka food can even make dacoits. Back to our story, Mom didn’t mind the cost but wanted to have at least 1.5 times the quantity required. Dad won’t do that. The size matters a lot too. We wanted 18 pcs per kg; they said they may have to serve 22 pcs /kg ka size which were not what we wanted. Anyway, thankfully everything worked out in the end with loads extra much to my mom’s delight. But there were many sleepless nights with the prawn. My joke about how the marriage has shifted its importance from bride, groom, jewelries and invitees to prawns was enjoyed by many.

Well jewelries remind me of more stories. As it was quite obvious, jewels are a crucial part of the wedding. And this time I was involved. This is how. My mom wanted to give some of hers as it is, without remodeling. And then obviously she had to decide what to give my wife at the same time coz last mein kuch nahi baaki raha tho? I guess it was a crucial decision for her considering how finicky I am. But I salute her judgment. She did the right thing. Same thing happened in case of Nani. She wanted to give similar things, so had to buy at the same time. So I got to see my wife’s this jewel also. It was damn good. This paragraph has been specially written ki koi tho ladki yeh padhke mere nahi tho use milne wale jewels ke pyaar mein tho mere paas aa jaye :)

Ok moving to some serious things now. Everybody kept telling me, ki bhai ki shaadi hai, u will have load s of things to do. I denied saying that actually nothing much. Coz after all, I don’t know the local people, whom to call for catering, whom to call for decoration and lights, but I was wrong. The wedding days were really crucial.

Amidst all this, mom bought a whopping 36-40 sarees one day. For all the near and dear ones. That came as a shock to me. Anyway, work was nicely divided in the household. Jewels, dresses, puja ki rasm was to be taken care by the ladies, and decorations, lights, food was guys department as usual. But I was amazed to find mom keeping a careful watch on everything. I found that really cool. While all this was going on, as u can see, I kept a close watch on everything. One day while there was a discussion about increase in the flower decorations cost which mom thought was useless ( me too). I made this comment to dad. “ See there are only 2 important things in a shaadi. We all knows, rasams will be one ok. There are only 2 areas where people may complain. 1 is if food is less and the other is that if somebody is unhappy with her saari. Coz both is a matter of shame to us. So both are equally important. The women kind of work as well as the guy work.” I don’t know if I have explained the point correctly here but it’s a truth. After shaadi, nobody remembers whether all rasams were done or was there one flower or one light less in theh decorations. They all care is was the food good and was the return gift good. So then obviously these 2 things become the most crucial in marriage.

But I guess this didn’t go very well with my dad.

More about the marriage days in next blog!