Of restrooms

Warning: The post below may not be upto your taste. So please refrain from readinig further if you are uncomfortable with these kind of discussions.

Somebody recently said I observe things too apart from just observing human behavior, and hence the post. I know it’s a very disgusting topic but then off late I have been reading many famous bloggies and if people like amit verma and greatbong can write, why can’t I?

Let’s start this with a nice kiddo joke. Somehow I always felt why are kids so obsessed with restroom kind of jokes, but its good to see the genuine laughter they have after the joke. So here it goes, it’s a marathi joke. “Pata hai Japanese eat ‘Soo Shee’”. Hahhahhahah. I don’t know, people may raise eyebrows saying “was that a joke?”, but I too laughed a lot when I first heard this.

Earlier I thought I will do a detailed analysis of restrooms in India and US , pros and cons and analyze about how in India you really don’t have to bother about a restroom in the middle of a jungle but here in US you have to, but then, I am not doing a PhD on restrooms. So here are a few restrooms worth mentioning.

Firstly the ones in the NITK hostels. It was stinking would be an understatement. You can imagine what happens to the stink if people are fed gobhi 10 times in 14 meals a week. But as we had no other option, chalo woh bhi chalta hai. I did have a picture with me with a toilet broom in one hand mixed with the picture of a dirty pot. That was a good picture to make people run away from my room. But sadly that picture is lost.

Continuing further, I would mention the Sultan Battery toilet in Mangalore. When I had gone, it was full to the brim. I ran out immediately. Wonder how did the cleaner go about it later. And more so, how could it be so full until multiple people went to the same dirty one. Eeeiks.

Next is not a toilet in particular but an action which me n my friends did. We had a handicam and were making a movie (good old college days kind of) and we went to a posh rooftop restaurant called Kadal in Mangalore. There we shot the toilet which was empty(thankfully, and yes, dont get any wierd ideas about what we shot, it was plain tiles and gadgets and no human) and then we were showing it to other friends in the dining table. All shrieked. I don’t know I get a great pleasure in talking this kind of dirty in dining table and like the way people literally shriek and run away.

Mangalore won’t be complete without mentioning this special restroom in Surathkal College ka shiva temple restroom. It’s behind the temple which is on a rock, there is this cemented Indian style pot which is entirely open on all sides. Nobody uses it and don’t think anybody used it ever. Makes me wonder, was it made for Gods? Kudos to the person who made it and especially the location he chose for that.

Now moving to Bangalore, the weirdest restroom is in the heart of the city, MG-Residency road crossing. Near the bus stand, opposite Bangalore Central. Well this was courtesy Sudha Murthy and her foundation desperate in making Bangalore a cleaner place. Thanks Mrs Murthy for such a thrilling experience. As can be expected, its half Americanized and half Indian. Anybody would think it’s the best of both worlds. But no, it’s the worst of both. Generally in India, people would prefer peeing with wall on 3 sides. But this one is ulta. It faces the road and the heavy traffic of Residency road and has wall end at shoulder height, so people on the road can actually see who is inside. To add to the nightmare, instead of having it dry, they have a constant flow of water. It feels like u r on a river. Readers are left to imagine what you would feel like there.

Lastly I would like to mention about the portable restrooms of US. Should I say I had the privilege of bumping into one during my South padre trip last weekend. Anyway, that is a unique way of having absolutely no smell in a waterless restroom. They have some chemicals below which constantly degrades anything that falls in there and there is strong disinfectant smell. So you really don’t feel smelly there ever.

Well that ends my analysis sufficient for ME final project. If you do want an MS thesis or a PhD, do let me know. :)

My art skills

Thanks to this website, i could create a face of mine. I think it does resemble me in certain aspects.
What say you?

My Brother's Wedding- The preparations

Well the highlight of my India trip was my brother’s wedding. The preparations had started long back. When I went, the invitations had already started. Initially even I was a part of it, but then I moved out because of my hectic schedule of god knows what. But was damn busy throughout my stay. Mom and dad were very tired at the end of every day of invitations and especially by the amount of mithais u have to eat in each house. And this is one thing about marriage, which you can’t outsource. Rest everything you can.

Anyway another thing that bothered us till the last day was prawns in the menu. For those who don’t have any idea what this is, let’s say serving tiger prawn in marriages have become real rare coz of the whopping rate of Rs 500/kg. Here is more about how important food is in Bengali marriages. Guess you all know who Bankim Chandra Chattopaddhay is. May be you people also know his famous novel Devi Chowdhurani. It was far ahead of times. Imagine somebody discussing women dacoits in 18^th century. Well now do any of you who have read Devi Chowdhurani remember why she became a dacoit? Well it was because they were poor and so though they managed to feed the groom side guests properly, the neighbors were given just rice and curd. This angered the neighbors, who complained to the father-in-law, who angrily broke the marriage or something like that nd feeling sad devi becomes a dacoit when lost in jungle. The point is, shaadi ka food can even make dacoits. Back to our story, Mom didn’t mind the cost but wanted to have at least 1.5 times the quantity required. Dad won’t do that. The size matters a lot too. We wanted 18 pcs per kg; they said they may have to serve 22 pcs /kg ka size which were not what we wanted. Anyway, thankfully everything worked out in the end with loads extra much to my mom’s delight. But there were many sleepless nights with the prawn. My joke about how the marriage has shifted its importance from bride, groom, jewelries and invitees to prawns was enjoyed by many.

Well jewelries remind me of more stories. As it was quite obvious, jewels are a crucial part of the wedding. And this time I was involved. This is how. My mom wanted to give some of hers as it is, without remodeling. And then obviously she had to decide what to give my wife at the same time coz last mein kuch nahi baaki raha tho? I guess it was a crucial decision for her considering how finicky I am. But I salute her judgment. She did the right thing. Same thing happened in case of Nani. She wanted to give similar things, so had to buy at the same time. So I got to see my wife’s this jewel also. It was damn good. This paragraph has been specially written ki koi tho ladki yeh padhke mere nahi tho use milne wale jewels ke pyaar mein tho mere paas aa jaye :)

Ok moving to some serious things now. Everybody kept telling me, ki bhai ki shaadi hai, u will have load s of things to do. I denied saying that actually nothing much. Coz after all, I don’t know the local people, whom to call for catering, whom to call for decoration and lights, but I was wrong. The wedding days were really crucial.

Amidst all this, mom bought a whopping 36-40 sarees one day. For all the near and dear ones. That came as a shock to me. Anyway, work was nicely divided in the household. Jewels, dresses, puja ki rasm was to be taken care by the ladies, and decorations, lights, food was guys department as usual. But I was amazed to find mom keeping a careful watch on everything. I found that really cool. While all this was going on, as u can see, I kept a close watch on everything. One day while there was a discussion about increase in the flower decorations cost which mom thought was useless ( me too). I made this comment to dad. “ See there are only 2 important things in a shaadi. We all knows, rasams will be one ok. There are only 2 areas where people may complain. 1 is if food is less and the other is that if somebody is unhappy with her saari. Coz both is a matter of shame to us. So both are equally important. The women kind of work as well as the guy work.” I don’t know if I have explained the point correctly here but it’s a truth. After shaadi, nobody remembers whether all rasams were done or was there one flower or one light less in theh decorations. They all care is was the food good and was the return gift good. So then obviously these 2 things become the most crucial in marriage.

But I guess this didn’t go very well with my dad.

More about the marriage days in next blog!