My Brother's Wedding- The preparations

Well the highlight of my India trip was my brother’s wedding. The preparations had started long back. When I went, the invitations had already started. Initially even I was a part of it, but then I moved out because of my hectic schedule of god knows what. But was damn busy throughout my stay. Mom and dad were very tired at the end of every day of invitations and especially by the amount of mithais u have to eat in each house. And this is one thing about marriage, which you can’t outsource. Rest everything you can.

Anyway another thing that bothered us till the last day was prawns in the menu. For those who don’t have any idea what this is, let’s say serving tiger prawn in marriages have become real rare coz of the whopping rate of Rs 500/kg. Here is more about how important food is in Bengali marriages. Guess you all know who Bankim Chandra Chattopaddhay is. May be you people also know his famous novel Devi Chowdhurani. It was far ahead of times. Imagine somebody discussing women dacoits in 18^th century. Well now do any of you who have read Devi Chowdhurani remember why she became a dacoit? Well it was because they were poor and so though they managed to feed the groom side guests properly, the neighbors were given just rice and curd. This angered the neighbors, who complained to the father-in-law, who angrily broke the marriage or something like that nd feeling sad devi becomes a dacoit when lost in jungle. The point is, shaadi ka food can even make dacoits. Back to our story, Mom didn’t mind the cost but wanted to have at least 1.5 times the quantity required. Dad won’t do that. The size matters a lot too. We wanted 18 pcs per kg; they said they may have to serve 22 pcs /kg ka size which were not what we wanted. Anyway, thankfully everything worked out in the end with loads extra much to my mom’s delight. But there were many sleepless nights with the prawn. My joke about how the marriage has shifted its importance from bride, groom, jewelries and invitees to prawns was enjoyed by many.

Well jewelries remind me of more stories. As it was quite obvious, jewels are a crucial part of the wedding. And this time I was involved. This is how. My mom wanted to give some of hers as it is, without remodeling. And then obviously she had to decide what to give my wife at the same time coz last mein kuch nahi baaki raha tho? I guess it was a crucial decision for her considering how finicky I am. But I salute her judgment. She did the right thing. Same thing happened in case of Nani. She wanted to give similar things, so had to buy at the same time. So I got to see my wife’s this jewel also. It was damn good. This paragraph has been specially written ki koi tho ladki yeh padhke mere nahi tho use milne wale jewels ke pyaar mein tho mere paas aa jaye :)

Ok moving to some serious things now. Everybody kept telling me, ki bhai ki shaadi hai, u will have load s of things to do. I denied saying that actually nothing much. Coz after all, I don’t know the local people, whom to call for catering, whom to call for decoration and lights, but I was wrong. The wedding days were really crucial.

Amidst all this, mom bought a whopping 36-40 sarees one day. For all the near and dear ones. That came as a shock to me. Anyway, work was nicely divided in the household. Jewels, dresses, puja ki rasm was to be taken care by the ladies, and decorations, lights, food was guys department as usual. But I was amazed to find mom keeping a careful watch on everything. I found that really cool. While all this was going on, as u can see, I kept a close watch on everything. One day while there was a discussion about increase in the flower decorations cost which mom thought was useless ( me too). I made this comment to dad. “ See there are only 2 important things in a shaadi. We all knows, rasams will be one ok. There are only 2 areas where people may complain. 1 is if food is less and the other is that if somebody is unhappy with her saari. Coz both is a matter of shame to us. So both are equally important. The women kind of work as well as the guy work.” I don’t know if I have explained the point correctly here but it’s a truth. After shaadi, nobody remembers whether all rasams were done or was there one flower or one light less in theh decorations. They all care is was the food good and was the return gift good. So then obviously these 2 things become the most crucial in marriage.

But I guess this didn’t go very well with my dad.

More about the marriage days in next blog!

Mera Desh - II

Enough of Bangalore, lets come to Kolkata and WB. Well the papers always say it’s a new kolkata. Orkut communities are there on this but alas, I find no change. The flyover started 2 years back is still under construction and people say its going so fast. A 20 year old Bisharpada-Kodaliya station is still called a new station. But then I realized modernization of kolkata is not bangalorization of it. Its developing more in what they are good at. EVverything is BIG in kolkata. And so was the city center mall. It was 3 times forum Bangalore. And ofcourse, almost 30% of it was food court. Now that is Kolkata for you. Another was Sourav ganguly. Bengalis support him not because of he plays good, nor because he is a Bengali but because they are Bengalis. Even a novice to cricket will be ready to discuss the villainy of Chapell and Dravid. Thank god some do spare Sachin. But then no comments. It’s their choice. They are the kolkatans. Something bad is the open love culture. Earlier I thought what’s wrong. That’s just not Indian but definitely not bad. But later when Advay told that in the beautiful Millenium park which is on the banks of Ganga, overlooking Howrah bridge and Vidyasagar setu on either side, smooching was the most decent thing that was going on, I was spellbound. Comeon, liberation doesn’t mean this.

Another thing I learnt was everybody has a point. About Singur I thought, Mamata Bannerjee is just grabbing some attention, which any outsider also felt including my friends in other cities. I thought what crap, the way industries are extinct in WB, may be, govt should even hand out Victoria memorial to be demolished. But no, things are not that simple. Singur is one of the most fertile land in India. To give that away for industry is harmful for local people, the environment and the country when WB does have wastelands not very far away. I was also shocked to now that India is now importing food again thanks to our agriculture minister who is taking more interest in cricket than the most pressing problem of India.

During my stay, I learnt more and more. Many things made me happy, many irritated me to the core. You had to speak out everywhere even at the grocery shops, on with louder voice gets things faster. Inspite of all this, I couldn’t stop cryinig on the last day. After all in sab cheeon se hi tho life bani hai.

Mera Desh -I

I have so many things to write. My recent trip to India was full of such stories. But then I realized the biggest thing. Almost all of us( who are back after a India trip) had their own stories. And it was all about the same things, how India is not that shining as we thought it was from far away. How it was polluted, corrupt, but still India is good old India. These would have been 3-4 blog topics for me but then everybody is writing about it.

What shocked me the most was a chat with bharat. I told him that I am feeling so damn homesick and want to go back now, without finishing the MS. He said he too felt the same and not just him but everybody around. Then I told him-“But you know, there was a time in India when I was dying to be back here.” He said even that is not unique to you and all of us felt that. These dialogues shocked me coz I thought they were my very own. But they turned out to be every tom dick and harry’s feelings.

I had thought of somethings that I will never do when I go to India. Like cribbing about the lifestyle there and saying good things about US. But I had to. On the very next day. Because I was down with cold. People were saying that may be the cold was too much for you. They made me feel like some fulkumari. But then I had to tell them, its not the cold, it’s the pollution here. Coz that was THE reason. Next was the dollar-rupee thing. I couldn’t stop telling the prices in dollars> now how the hell are you supposed to convert dollars per pound to rupees per kg?

Bangalore was just the same. People always cribbing about the airport traffic but then I still did never face it. And 2 of the same people, when they came to kolkata for my bro’s marriage, realized what Traffic jam was. Another thing was software people and their salaries. Somehow people are never happy. Anu showed me a skit video. People earning 6 lpa within 2 years are calling their salaries peanuts. Tap Tap Tap, these bangaloreans are crazy. Another thing about Bangalore was the prices. They were just Rs converted to dollars. No cost of living differences. For 100 Rs, you don’t get coffees as good as starbucks while here u get an excellent one for 2.5$.

But yes, I enjoyed Idli and more idli. I couldn’t stop eating idlys in the numerous sagars of Bangalore. And last but not the least Forum mall, Bangalore. People say Garuda is bigger, better, more strategically placed. I don’t disagree. But forum mein ek apnapan lagta hai mujhko. Aisa lagta hai ki barson se yahin aata hoon. Same feelings for PVR where even a movie like Happy Feet (its te worst cartoon I have seen till date) is houseful on a Monday afternoon show.

Contd in the part 2 blog