Was detention of Shahrukh Khan right thing?
Ok, I am a big time Shahrukh fan. I got up at 3:30 am tonight after having a nightmare as aftereffects of the movie 'Kaminey'. I browse as usual and go through the news that Shahrukh was detained at Newark Airport. I was terribly upset and shaken. I could not sleep after that.
Now after almost 16 hours after the story, having read a few 'counter' stories, I am at peace. So here is what I would have done if I were the person in charge of taking Shahrukh Khan to the detention room. Ok let's generalize this. Because even Shahrukh says he does not feel bad because of just himself but the room full of people who were mostly from a particular community. Here we go: (My monologue, thoughts in brackets)
Hello Sir, we have to hold you off for additional checks. Please do not panic sir, we will make sure you will be able to get to your connecting flight if any. We would like you to enjoy your stay in this country and make it as comfortable as we can.
Let me be frank, yes sir, as you might be thinking right now, you are being held because of your name. As you know Sir, we are a bit panicky country (tell exact reasons why you are doing even if it shows you in a slightly weaker position. Nobody becomes small by bowing before others). We took strong actions an entire nation because they destroyed our own WTC. But there is a good side to it as well Sir, as you can see, nobody has even dared a second attack. (On the other hand, there are some countries which encounter repeated terrorism, still get used to it, have such nice culture of equality which an outsider doesn't even realize). This is because of our security system sir, I hope and I know, you will understand as you come from such an educated nation.
(Saying this, take him to a room which should put the Lake palace Udaipur's presidential suite to shame, escort him to a seat, serve him snacks and drinks). Sir, to make this check shorter, can you just name somebody whom you are coming to in US so that we can call them and confirm? Here, take this i-phone. (A person comes to any other country for 2 reasons, he knows someone and has some purpose of visit, in which case he should have a contact address, or he is a tourist, in which case one can show their whole itinerary of stay or atleast the initial hotel. If found suspicious, one can always spy him)( So, now Shahrukh/any person makes the call, connect me and that person and we do a basic check. )
Thank you sir, I really appreciate your patience personally and on the behalf of my country. I hope you enjoy your stay in this country. Also, here is a feedback form and if you have any concerns and how we can improve this process, please let us know.
(Note that this entire process should take a max of 10-15 minutes per person with a staff size big enough to handle each and every person separately so that no one has to wait more than 30 seconds. After all, this is also an opportunity for job creation.)
2 comments:
I could sniff a huge amount of satire (creativity at its best) in this post:
1. You are thinking so much about the iPhone that you want to use it instead of a phone? :)
2. Referring to India when you talk "some countries". I am not sure if I agree with the intended meaning, but looks like India is bowing for now..
3. Lake palace Udaipur's presidential suite! Hilarious.. I'm sure you thought about it - size does not always imply luxury.
4. Feedback! Stop thinking that everyone works at the MathWorks :)
My take on the entire episode and this post is that Indian "media" (including blogs) is becoming heavily sensationalized. This is a policy of a country and needs much wider thought and decision making process than impulsive satire and profiled discussions. Every country has such issues and I'm worried that the US (I agree that some federal policies are near panicky and needs changes) is being singled out by everyone. This is detrimental in the long run and the people who are at advantage are the ones who take up arms and the ones who make arms.
Haha, You are right about some of the satires, though not entirely:
1) With my phone conked off, it is time for a new phone. I pone was a natural. I was even planning to make a joke of, sir, so now if you could return me the phone kinds.
2) I strongly believe that India is one of the few if not only country to show religious tolerance. Like I had told you in the past, India is not Secular, it is about all religion;s peaceful co existence.
3) There is a very hidden meaning in Lake Palace. It may not be the kind of luxury for the west, but might be for the targeted community.
US is singled out because everybody considers it as a role model, the ultimate destination for human freedom and respect. It's like being a celebrity comes with it's own baggage.
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