Kalkatta

This quote of Bachi Karkaria provoked me to write this blog:

"In different applications it is ‘o’ or ‘aw’. ‘Kolkata’ is subjected to such verbal mutilation that it should Black Hole those who ordered the change. Or perhaps the Brahmins of Writers Building did it deliberately so as to perpetuate the cultural caste system which separates those who can ‘o’ correctly, and those who can only gape in awe."

Full text here.

Well, there are people who liked the name Calcutta and it was always called "Kolkata" (pronounced as Coal-Kata) for the Bengalis just like Bombay was always Mumbai and Poona was Pune. But my favorite has been "Kalkatta" (pronounced as Kul-cutta)", the hindi version. It is so sweet, just like the staple food of the people of this city.

Every year, after summer vacation when I come back, teachers would ask, Kahan gaye the (Where did you go)? And I would reply "Kalkatta". One of the first hindi rhymes I learned was:

Aao Bhai Khele Khel, Chalti hai ab apni rail,
Hum Engine hai bhak bhak karte, hum dibbe hai chak chak karte...
.. and somewhere in the middle...
Jhatpat Kalkatta ho aaye.....

Imagining saying "Jhatpat Kolkata ho aaye" gives me shivers even now.
Another instance is the iconic song Chamma Chamma. Starring my one of the favorite Bollywood actresses, it has a stanza -

Hila doon UP, hila doon MP
Jo maaroon main thumka
Tere thumke pe haan Mumbai Patna
Main haaroon Kalkatta

Again replacing it with "Kolkata" will take the whole fun out of the song. It is like replacing Urmila with Raima Sen.

The word "Kalkatta" has this sweet raw crassness which is totally missing in Kolkata and especially the way rest of India attempts to say it : Call-katta. "Kalkatta" brings back the lost charm of the city. Kalkatta brings back the time when the Hindi Heartland (Delhi-UP-Bihar-MP-WB) was "The India" and this so called new IT cities like Bangalore, Hydra-bad, Pune though always good cities were never the talk of the country. Dilli - Lakhnau - Kanpur- Ilahabaad - Kalkatta were the the places where things of any consequence "happened".

The cosmopolitan Calcutta was never due to foreign countries or even southern/western India. It was always a place of confluence for the North, East and North-east India. For them it was always "Kalkatta". Making it Kolkata robs out the cosmopolitan part of the city.

For "probashi"'s like me, Kalkatta was the way we described the city to our friends all these years. Mentioning it as Kolkata or even worse, letting them pronounce it as "Call-Katta" is I believe a big Black Hole.